this time last year i wrote my STANDard for September, my birthday month...which i typically treat as my own personal new year... with anticipation and a measure of excitement as I chose Psalm 138:8 as my verse for that month, but also as my "plumb line" for my 44th year. it says 'the Lord will fulfill His purpose for me...'; little did i know that Gods idea of timing regarding the fulfilling of purpose would drastically differ from MY idea of timing. this time last year we'd finished, and funded, our kickstarter campaign and I was chomping at the bit to get that project underway. i just assumed that God would be fulfilling that purpose any minute. however, here I am a full 12 months later, with progress having been made, but no finished product. it's been frustrating, to say the least, mainly because I've struggled to put my finger on exactly what the hold up is. I guess that's because there've been countless transitions, shifts, changes and obstacles. multiple hold-ups, too many to name.
what I've come to is this: my ways aren't His. my timing isn't His. Gods timing IS perfect though. and HIS ways are far and away better than mine.... even though most of the time I'm pretty sure i do all i can to impose my timeline on him. with each transition that i question and every obstacle i try to find an easier way around, I'm learning to trust. learning to bend. learning to surrender. learning to listen.
I've chosen Psalm 4:5 as my STANDard for the month of September, but also as the verse i plan to stand under for the next 12 months...my 45th year of life.
'...offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord'
first, i want to surrender with pure motives. it means acknowledging Gods desire for me to be willing to give up certain things in my life that keep me from actively pursuing and running hard after him. letting the the full weight of the Word convict and correct me. allowing the Master gardener to prune the branches of my heart in order that I might grow into the woman of God I'm meant to be.
second, that i would trust God more and more. like Abraham, i want to be willing to surrender and sacrifice even that which i hold most dear because I'm convinced that God loves me and that I can trust him. i want that faith to be continually cultivated in my heart so i grow, gain strength, and increase in wisdom.
isn't it just incredible that God invites us into relationship with him and then allows us to keep growing? to see things more clearly as we get older? it's as though we get glimpses of his plan and purpose along our journey to keep us climbing, keep us motivated to climb higher.
my husband and i are heading into a milestone season of parenthood, the empty nest. having raised 2 kids that are now both living outside our home, we are faced with a very big 'what next'! this transition will undoubtedly require both sacrifice and trust as we seek The Lord for His guidance down this new path. in addition, this new record I've been working on for nearly 2 years WILL be completed and released during my 45th year! and that will require it's own sacrifices and countless opportunities to trust. I'm convinced, though, that no matter what...there is no better way to live, no greater joy, than the life of faith.
'...offer right sacrifices and trust in The Lord'