say cheese

recently our church held what i'd call a modern day prayer meeting.  it was epic.  it was not a gathering of great size, in terms of the amount of people there, but it felt HUGE in terms of truth in worship.  we host an evangelistic outreach event once a month, SkullChurch, and in order to gear up for it, we pray.  we meet the week before the main event and worship and pray together.  we call it 'bow before the battle'.  as we truly believe that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms", we use that time together to bow before the KING and surrender ourselves to his authority...knowing that he has the authority over sin and death and anything we do is in vain if HE is not in it. we see amazing things happen as we present ourselves as willing, clean and empty vessels for him to fill.
Anyway.... as i sat in the service at 'bow before the battle' with arms high and heart abandoned something weird happened.  my eyes were closed, my daughter was leading worship.  and i saw a flash of light. since my eyes were closed, i didn't know what caused the flash, but my first thought was...and this is embarrassing..."someone just took a picture of me". now, let me explain that my husband has done this in the past.  when i'm in the throws of emotional response, totally unaware of the world around me, he will snap a shot.  i will then delete it later, because its almost never flattering. but i digress...
so, as i had this thought, "someone just took my picture", it triggered a series of thoughts that led me directly away from worship.  instead of thinking about Jesus, my Redeemer, i began thinking about my hair. my facial expression (remembering how i'd deleted some of those photos my husband took because i knew they were, well, not pretty) my posture, my outfit...    i finally opened my eyes, and realized that the flash had come from the reflection of light off of the guitar on stage.  ha! i had a little laugh at my own expense.  but then i thought... God is actually watching.  i imagined that the flash could've been Jesus taking a picture.  He is always here, you know?  fully aware of my facial expression and more...the intent and content of my heart, the thoughts in my head.  i have grown very aware of peoples eyes, being a 'public figure' will make you that way.  but have i grown very aware of God's gaze upon me?  that should be the thought at the forefront of our minds...when Jesus takes a photo, captures a moment of our time, what will He see?